Category Archives: ridiculousness
the modern-day apothecary
Who isn’t entranced by an outpost specializing in tinctures + elixirs in little black medicinal bottles; dry herbs in glass jars; crystals of every shape + color; magic wands made of gilded bamboo; exotic teas + remedies defending the heart/ soul/ throat/ anxiety/ twitchy eye and books on healing/ reinventing/ spells???
I certainly am.
I stumbled upon Scarlet Sage Herb Co. a while ago, when I was on the hunt for bundled white sage… the kind that protects + wards off every manner of bad spirit when smudged around the perimeter of your sacred dwelling. Sage bundles are the backbone of so many of my special-delivery care packages, such as: the heartbreak kit; the housewarming kit; the lucky you kit; the birthday kit, and lastly the thankyouthankyouthankyou kit.
After calling upon many of the usual suspects whom I thought would carry bundled sage– and don’t– someone tipped me off to a little “witchy store” at the end of Valencia street. Just the thought of a “witchy store” delighted me beyond. But nothing compared to what I saw in person and/or the endless possibilities/ inspiration/ learning had.
For inspiration, check out the heartbreak kit– click here.
photo credit: nicole mcintosh bruce
Posted in my beat, ridiculousness
Leave a comment
magical kingdom of french ribbons
The Ribbonerie is wall-to-wall inspiring… The kind of store you imagine stumbling upon, along a tree-lined street, only in San Francisco, California. It is one of the prettiest shoppes in America + is a true world of ephemera + curio, owned by a proprietress possessed by her love of the exquisite– mostly French ribbons of every kind + shape + edging. A kingdom of magic + old world, where antique feathers, passamentry, buttons, ladies gloves, handkerchiefs + daytime hats are very much de’ rigueur.
Stuffed into every imaginable kind of hutch/ shelf/ case/ rack are acres upon acres of grosgrain, silk, taffeta, metallic, velvet, embroidered, appliqué ribbon– in every imaginable color/ width/ stripe/ polka dot/ plaid, and solid. A mesmerizing explosion of possibilities: bows on wedding gowns, bows on gifts, bows as napkin rings, bows on hats, bows on Xmas tree branches + wreaths, bows in hair, bows on Moses baskets + basinets, and bows on invitation + program.
Paulette Knight’s bounty is the secret weapon for many of the great creatives I know: florists/ crafters seamstress/ interior designers/ clothing designer/ event planners– and a MUST visit for anyone looking to be blown away.
photo credit: nicole mcintosh bruce
Posted in musings, ridiculousness
6 Comments
who are you…
Billion dollar cottage industries have been created solving this riddle, giving birth to Juicy Couture’s velour/ terry track suit + reinventing the leisure uniform. During the 90s, the Juicy track suit became the modern-day American uniform: a brilliantly upgraded version of the sweat suit you would never dare be caught alive in, in all sorts of outlandish colors. The tracksuit was everywhere: the gym, grocery store, the airport, but most importantly inside of houses all across the US.
Then in the mid 2000s, came Lululemon and their version athletic leisurewear (another company I wish I had founded)… their clothes are comfortable yoga/ active wear. Form fitting ensembles made of cotton lycra, in chic colors like black + gray, has become the acceptable when-no-one-is-looking uniform that some of my most stylish friends + relatives break out daily. Lululemon can be dolled up to look fashionable when leaving the house– but the key thing is: these clothes are wildly comfortable + unrestrictive + somewhat fierce (in a good way).
This takes me back to me… Unlike some people who wear leisure/ active-wear clothes + look hot– I look absolutely ridiculous in either above option. The sweat look is not mine. Every once in a while, I work out with a trainer and we’ll cruise out, deep in the Presidio and inevitably bump into people I know…Good friends even. And without fail, they NEVER ever recognize me. Clearly I look so foreign, that I have to prove that I am not an imposter by removing my sunglasses or hat.
My when-no-one-is-looking look does not derive from sweat suit DNA; my go-to look derives from the old-lady house dress/ housecoat DNA– the kind that your grandmothers wore. I find that when no one is looking, women are one of two breeds of cats: a sweat-pant-loving gal OR house-coat-loving gal. I am the latter– my ensemble of choice…
The Rachel Pally long tunic. Everyone who sort-of knows me has seen this number in a dozen colors, thousands of times. It is made of cotton jersey + looks like an Ossie Clark silhouette. This housedress is not totally your grandma’s housedress, given the décolletage and modern lines…. I LOVE that it is comfortable/ presentable/ kinda elegant + sexy + stylish– and looks great on every kind of figure.
I think it is time the housedress made a comeback, don’t you?
Posted in my beat, ridiculousness
1 Comment
i spy with my little eye: the toto neorest toilet
When I was a little girl, my grandmother had a lavender bidet in her bathroom that matched her lavender toilet + lavender sink. As a child, the concept of a bidet was totally curious/ peculiar + under my management, it found new purpose as the BARBIE HOT TUB. Since those days, I have often wondered what happened to the bidet– did they vanish the way of the pay phones in this new world???
And then I stumbled upon The Toto Neorest Toilet, a modern-day bidet that comes with sleeeeeek Japanese design, seat warmer + control unit mounted to the wall. It comes complete with a REAR CLEANSING + FRONT CLEANSING + DRYER button. And everything about it is fascinating + very peculiar.
My kids and I first discovered these bad boys in the bathroom stalls at the tricked-out Bardessono Hotel, where we often go for breakfast. Johnny + Delphina live to drench each other or me by pushing any + all of the buttons at once… A fiasco that never ceases to delight year after year.
Then suddenly, I find myself bumping into these toilets everywhere…In the past week I discovered them in my bathroom at the Disney Resort in Hawaii + then again at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I overheard people talking longingly about them in the Polo Lounge. I even know of someone who really wants one for their birthday.
So, keep your eyes peeled for them– I have a feeling bidets are making a comeback.
Posted in ridiculousness
2 Comments
announcing…the modern house wine contest winner!
Thankyouthankyouthankyou for every single submission that came across my computer screen… there were literally thousands. Some of you submitted dozens at a time, frequently checking back to see if any of the entries had won! And some of you submitted just one, as was the case with the winning entry, HELP IS HERE. I heard from old teachers, roommates, suitors, and even winery owners. We had so many crazy-good entries that we now have the urgent desire to create a line of t-shirts inspired by them!
We started Modern House Wines as a lark 2 years ago… using good wine, inventive graphic design, and modern- day nomenclature; frequently using the expressions from the subject lines of my email communications, like: Thrilled For You, Pls Forgive Me, With Love, Expensive. My dad irreverently + aptly came up with Swell Swill + 101 points. My friend Ruthie Sommers came up with Lucky Night. And Andy Spade came up with Thank You, which quickly became Merci due to copyright issues.
We promoted the MHWs as YOUR HOUSE WINE/ GIFT WINE/ PARTY WINE, which seemed to resonate in big way… soon after the wines were featured on the Today Show + in Vogue, Parade, Sunset, In Style, and Oprah’s O list– by the help of sisters/ world-class cake bakers/ wine club members/ and generous friends. There have been dozens upon dozens of fingerprints behind the sweet success of these wines.
In the fall we want to begin introducing the Modern House Wines into the wholesale market, and would LOVE, LOVE any thoughts/ feedback/ ideas.
Posted in entertaining, ridiculousness
Leave a comment
i’ll get you my pretty…and your little dog too!
For those of you not yet converted, Sing-Along The Wizard of Oz is a screening of the classic MGM musical in glorious Technicolor, complete with subtitles so that the whole audience can sing along! In addition to belting out the tunes, goody bags will be handed out to everyone and audience members can add to the fun by dressing up as a favorite character for the costume contest!
Posted in ridiculousness
Leave a comment
heartbreak kit
For years I have been perfecting the perfect break up/ heartbreak/ divorce kit. Essential basics for temporary insanity + survival during the darkest hours. And the more I think about it, every woman should keep all of these accoutrements on hand at all times; apart of her best daily practices.
Posted in ridiculousness
4 Comments
modern house wines contest…naughtiest entry
BRAVO Craig Swanson! (not related!)
Posted in ridiculousness
Leave a comment
return of the king cake baby
Last week I told you all about the importance of the King Cake baby + all the luck/ joy/ profound goodness that comes with finding him inside your cake…
Needless to say, the baby made a BIG appearance at our Mardi Gras party last Tuesday. An appearance not to be overshadowed by Edie [who was absolutely mouth dropping]. Not one, but TWO people at our table [including yours truly!] were lucky enough to find the baby in their cake. Lucky for you, we documented the baby’s shenanigans below…
See more about what that baby’s been up to right here.
Posted in ridiculousness
2 Comments
hill’s manual of social + business forms
One of my favorite friends lives in New York City– and we tend to convene 1-2 X a year, in Napa or San Francisco or NYC, in between her touring schedule. And I live for her visits…They include late nights/ wine/ discussions of love/ food/ men/ small dogs/ mothers/ fathers/ healers/ vintage shops. She arrives with a whole black bag of lotions/ potions/ smelling salts and rude-smelling leaves that require boiling.
We spend our time together foraging antique shops/ craft stores/ holistic stores and the like— all in search of the next creative project to blow our minds. One visit we made the perfect “break up kit” for surviving heart break– it was glorious + thoughtful; including all kinds of spells/ tinctures/ remedies/ readings/ poems/ elixirs… Another time, we made hand-painted Christmas ornaments, by the dozen. Another visit was devoted to art of old-fashioned, letter writing and the magical ceremonies + rituals + accoutrements that support it.
For a recent birthday, I sent her a glass container filled with dozens upon dozens of well-loved paint brushes used by a local painter, that I had stumbled upon at our favorite vintage store. And for my 40th, she sent me a copy of the HILLS MANUAL OF SOCIAL + BUSINESS FORM– The How-To-Do-Everything book of Victorian America, written in 1865…
This is a book only found in your favorite junk shops– so, keep your eyes peeled for it. It makes for the most spectacular gift of a lifetime.
Posted in ridiculousness
2 Comments
we’re bringing mardi gras to the napa valley on february 21st!
Ken Fulk (serious good-times impresario/ man of ridiculous taste) + I have been itching to do Mardi Gras justice– and we found the perfect partner, with the party hounds at BarBersQ…
Please join us! The night promises to be delicious/ delicious/ delicious!!
More details on Monday!
Posted in ridiculousness
Leave a comment
more about the plastic baby…
Special trinkets inside cakes have been apart of Russian, French, Spanish + Mexican traditions marking religious celebrations for hundreds of years– tucked deep inside a wide smattering of highly decorated fruit cakes/ coffee cakes/ brioche breads/ pastry puffs. The trinkets range from gilded beans/ nuts/ leaves/ small jewelry tokens or porcelain figurines. But regardless of culture/ custom or bakery, all these cakes have symbolized the same thing: prosperity/ fertility/ protection…. And who can’t use that??? All this makes me wonder: if I buy + eat 5 cakes, and discover the trinket in each– I am promised to 5X the good fortune…?
Today, the trinket found inside popular celebration cakes are a little plastic baby, most commonly found inside the Mardi Gras King Cakes. The little guys cause a frenzy during their 6-week reign every year, during the debaucheries days of the pre- Lenten season. What makes them so popular is that there is no definitive consensus as to what the baby is all about; just depends on your tradition or the tradition of the people you’re eating it with. Leaving lots of room for colorful interpretation/ wishful thinking/ opportunity for naughty behavior!
The modern-day plastic baby inside the King Cake has become its own phenomenon. Like any other cultural icon, he has his own Facebook page chronicling “the world-wide adventures of the King Cake baby– he’s plastic + he’s fantastic.”
That all said, if you haven’t tried a King Cake you should!
Posted in ridiculousness
2 Comments
ceremonies, rituals + obsession
We have an old cuckoo clock in our kitchen that belonged to my father-in-law. He had at least 10 cuckoo clocks going in his kitchen at all times… and you would not believe the racquet they collectively made every hour, on the hour (give and take a few minutes)… It was not to be believed, but at the very same time, it is exactly what I recall most fondly when I think of his yellow chintz country kitchen, complete with an old upright piano in it.
In our house, we have one of those cuckoo clocks and we LIVE for its’ high maintenance ways: it requires daily winding and then keeps up our house guests who stay above our kitchen. And yet it is the most soothing companion late at night as I type/ search on my computer on my kitchen counter– it is better than music. But the truth is, there is nothing better than when 10 go off at the same time!
Posted in musings, ridiculousness
Leave a comment
my obsession these days
Anyone who knows me, knows that I am obsessed with my sister’s coyote vest from her clothing line Veronica Beard… The vest in question was originally discovered by Veronica in one of our favorite vintage stores in SF and to this day it has been the envy of her closet as far as I was concerned. I truly have coveted this vest… Begged to borrow it when she wasn’t wearing it. And over the years, I have scoured the West Coast in search for its twin— to no avail, until this fall when the vest was reproduced — almost to perfection — to my utter delight.
I have worn this vest day-in and day-out– to the gas station, lunch, dinner, office, farmer’s market, mornings at my children’s CO-OP… just about anywhere that it is 63 degrees or less. It is sexy/ cool/ polished/ unpolished, and transforms any outfit in 3 seconds.
photos: veronica beard
Posted in ridiculousness
3 Comments
why oakville needs its post office
“The Oakville Post Master, Mark Salvestrin, provides service with a smile and goes out of his way to be of help. Wake up, Washington, D.C., and Oakland (our distribution center); Oakville should be your poster child as a great success story. Now is the time to increase the number of boxes which are in such high demand. Do not wipe Oakville off the postal map. Oakville should not become a scapegoat for the mismanagement of the United States Post Office at large.”
Click here for more…
Posted in ridiculousness
Leave a comment
don’t mess with oakville!
On Weds night, at the Rutherford Grange in the Napa Valley, a passionate group of grape growers, business owners, residents and community leaders assembled to dispute the proposed re-location of the Oakville Post Office, established in 1857.. The crowd was like a casting call of famous napa celebs, which included Bill Harlan (Harlan Estate/Meadowood, etc), David Pearson (Opus One), Ren Harris (Paradigm), Larry Maguire (Far Niente), Linda Neal (Tierra Roja), Brian Tench, Joyce Stavert, Pam Bond (Swanson Vineyards Mgr)… And on and on!
The standing-room only crowd cheered as Brian Bottari, Representative for Congressman Mike Thompson, read a letter destined for the USPS in DC which demanded a feasibility study, list of alternatives and re-consideration of their decision to close the Oakville post office.
Two reps from the state and local USPS did not impress the audience with their reasoning that declining volume + revenues are the reason for cutting costs and consolidating over 3000 post offices just like Oakville around the country. In fact, they became uneasy when the crowd uncovered the fact that this particular post office – which runs lean at only $81k/year – currently operates IN THE BLACK!
Aside from being profitable, local citizens cited these other reasons to keep their post office open.. in OAKVILLE:
- Top-knotch service provided by postman, Mark Salvestrin ~ who received a standing ovation from the crowd!
- To keep money + business LOCAL
- Safety concerns about intersection near Rutherford post office
- Guarantee that the Oakville brand will forever be included in their address and letterhead
- History ~ the post office has been here 144 years!
- An offer by Leslie Rudd to keep the post office in the Victorian building next to Oakville Grocery is yet to receive a response.
bill harlan and others stand to show support of their favorite postman, mark salvestrin
Coming into the meeting, the sense was that the decision had already been made to close it down and re-locate to “expanded access locations” in Rutherford, Yountville and Saint Helena. However, the heated discussion uncovered the fact that no concrete decision has been made yet and the current ‘proposal’ is just that.. And that there is still time to save the post office!
At the end of the night, there were still far too many questions left unanswered and more time is needed to get detailed responses back to the dissatisfied + impassioned crowd.
Join the cause on Facebook.
Posted in ridiculousness
Tagged far niente, harlan, oakville, post office, save oakville, swanson
Leave a comment
